stay tuned, bunkers

i'm so tired, you guys.
i made a really nice dinner and was like, "oh i should take a picture of th- fuck it, let's eat."
a bunch of times.
dudes! it's my birthday soon! i got button supplies and i'm making buttons with my face on them and you all have to wear them!
i'm kidding. what i'm really gonna do is sleep for 45 hours.

hi, sunshine.

Oh! I have a good story for you:

This guy rolls in all wearing a fucking la gear tank top and some dumbass baseball cap and sunglasses (see: "I Automatically Hate Anyone Who Wears These Things: Tank Top, Sunglasses, Baseball Cap" by Elizabeth Renew, February 2008). He's giving me this "Uggh I'm in a hurry 'cause I parked in the red" like it's my fault or I should care or something, and so I do exactly what you would do: move extra slowly and make a lot of mistakes. Finally he's like, "Ughh I'm late to work now so can you hold on to my receipts for me?" and high-tops his way back to his purple truck or whatever. He doesn't give me his name or nothin' so I tell the girl I work with that some rude guy might come back for his receipt and she says "ok, put a note on it." So I write "hold for douchey american-apparel-looking guy 7/26/08 -elizabeth" on a post-it and stick it on there.

Then the next day I'm just workin' and this dude is looking at me with this obnoxious grin and he goes, "Hey Elizabeth. That was a nice note, by the way."

What??

Oh. Shit.

Anyway, I'm tired of telling that story now. Yesterday was my day off and I was sitting on the bookstore stairs with some sweet bookstore cats and everything smelled like old books and coffee, and sometimes life is the best. I bought so many books after that.
Uh, something else I forgot, and then Hannah was telling me all about how her friend has panic attacks because he used to do a lot of ecstasy and also now he's kind of nuts in general, uh, and I lost my train of thought.

check into cats!

I am so goddamn tired right now.
I couldn't get to sleep last night and when I finally did, I had the weirdest nightmare about some butler guy and going back to school and critical mass and fox news.
Then fuckin' Ricardo woke me up shouting into his phone, and I could actually even hear the girl he was talking to, and they were both shouting, and why the hell does anyone have to be that loud ever in the world, ever, about anything, especially which club are we on the list for, I'M NOT SURE, I THINK THE IVY?!!!! OR MAYBE JACK'S, I HAVE TO CALL RAUL THOUGH!!!!!!!!!
I didn't even get to see batman this weekend. But I bought a bike and I did a bunch of productive things like going to the tailor and getting film developed and making Robyn a killer birthday present if I do say so, and buying the new Beck cd but not listening to it yet. Oh and going back to school!! and getting a cell phone, so you guys have to call me to say what's up and then I'll have your numbers again. Both of you.

skull full of shaving cream

I'm bored right now. I was super late to work and didn't get coffee and my brain feels like a damp paper towel.

It's really foggy outside, too. I feel like I match the weather.

So I've been all insomniatic and still having weird dreams. I had the craziest one of my life so far where Denzel Washington was this scary-ass vampire dude, and he beat the shit out of me for no reason and then Brad Pitt was the vampire assassin but he had to be disguised as a window and glass repair man. Oh, and I was babysitting the kids from Jon and Kate + 8.

Brad Pitt's hair looked really funny.



Remember how I used to be retired? and I would sit around knitting or reading and I had a cat and we watched silent movies and I couldn't sleep then either, but it was summer so it didn't matter.
i miss that shit and going to the park at night 'cause it wasn't scary, and going nuts on the picnic area with our bucket of chalk
I miss having friends who also have nothing to do all the time because then you end up buying fairly oddparents kites and flying them around all afternoon and then going home to drink different flavored hot chocolates and watch the family channel.
It must sound like I'm nostalgic for being eight years old, but really that was like two years ago. We used to buy a lot of weird shit and then go to the park with it.

I'm at Roxanne's house right now waiting for her to straighten her hair so we can go get breakfast. It's taking her for fucking ever and now she's like, oh, we can't go the beach, I just straightened my hair.

fucking girls, you know?
i mean, not fucking girls... because you wouldn't know..
My brother left his frisbee at the cabin and I found it, and now I have a glow-in-the-dark frisbee until the next time I see him.
I know! Glow-in-the-dark frisbee!! Did I already say let's go to the park? Because let's go to the park.


I am seriously grumpy right now.

TOO MUCH FAT!!

woah, two days in a row and shit. I think.
This is a terrific vacation. Except that my mom is driving me fucking crazy, but that's her job blah blah blah.
At first I was like, egh, but everything is really beautiful here and I have been living in the hammock drinking coffee, then taking walks, then drinking beers. I've been trying to pay attention and take photos. But you know I can't pay attention to shit, and my camera is out of batteries again blah blah blah,
Right now I'm the me version of Haruki Murakami in April 1974, except approximately 400% less talented but either way I feel like writing a book. And it's gonna be illustrated and it's gonna be like 27 pages long. With 23 illustration pages.
I'm doing this, then I'm going home to work for one day, and then I'm going to the desert for three days. This is like an Elizabeth reunion tour 2008 and I'm liking it a lot.
Ugh my mom is seriously gonna make me lose my shit.
love, zabie

Ok, so I am officially in a cabin in Yosemite updating my blog. I'm gonna just point that out to you so you can feel embarrassed for me.
But I don't have my notebook or nothin' and I want to write things down, so shut the fuck up.
I had too much (perfect amount of) coffee just now and I am all jazzed and we are making lemon ricotta / blueberry pancakes for breakfast and the trees are awesome and my brothers are here and I love my family.
We are talking about b b b benny and the jets. Which reminds me of this conversation I wrote down about four weeks ago:

A: You can open up around us, you know, you don't have to be so closed off.
Z: Closed off? Johnny, wasn't I singing benny and the jets with you last night?
J: B b b benny and the jets!!
A: BENNY!! BENNY!!

...Benny and the jets? Really?
Z: Yep.

steps to becoming roxanne's husband

step one: untan.
step two: get scrawny.
step three: put the fucking glasses back on.

stainless steal

Yesterday was the last day of school at work. I came in after the store was already supposed to be open, had to unlock the door for waiting people, and then help everyone while wearing a t-shirt with a drawing of a taco and french fries on it. Very professional.
I never got in my uniform and just fucked around on the customer computers, cheating my way through some paid training courses while spending most of my time outside on the phone.
The middle part here reminded me of being 14, in some girl's car whose perfume is so strong I swear I smell like it for the rest of the day, listening to crappy ska music and rage against the machine, on a really nice day on a huge freeway.
Then we went bowling and drank a bunch of beers and then I came home. Bingo ran out the gate and down three blocks and I ran after him then carried him all the way home. Then I got in my bed, which felt like heaven more than anything, and napped a bunch.
I totally didn't have a Welcome Home Bingo dinner party. Instead I had some self-heating hot chocolate and learned a way to win any argument in the world, ever.
Then I got back in my bed, which still felt like heaven, and slept for ten and a half hours.
I went out with my sister and bought some things and stole some things and now I'm waiting for a ride to Roxanne's house.
Still no photos, but what would they even be of? bowling? You don't need to see that.

aidee shoma moborak!

Last night was the best new year I've ever had. We had to stand in front of a door for a half an hour holding some weird Persian items and shouting at people in Farsi and hugging complete strangers and getting really really weird looks from a bunch of too-much-makeup wearing ladies.
Then Natasha, Kariann, Thea, Carol, and I drank as much Charles Shaw Merlot as we could.
I'm not clear on some stuff, but Tasha and Kariann and I walked like 15 miles to the liquor store, talked about boys and how much, come May 2009, I will be all over Portland like Roxanne on gay boys.
It was great after that. I kissed Thea a bunch which was incredibly inappropriate for several reasons. We danced to strange Persian grooves, and my feet got stamped on a lot, and Vesta took care of me and we talked about boys (nobody ever wants to talk to me about anything but boys, and I'm really ok with that). I assured Roxanne that I would give up every jumpsuit in the entire world because I love her so much. Then Camron threw up and Danny and I wheeled around into poles and trees and stuff on this crazy little cart and I just now realized why my feet and legs are all bruised up.
We went to Danny's house and I wrote him some notes, then went to Roxanne's house and watched Flight of the Concords and slept a little bit.
This morning Danny and Roxanne and I went to Cafe on Park and ate giant pancakes and when they left I lay down in bed with my eyes closed for four hours.

There were about a million amazing photo ops during all this, and no one in the whole party had a camera.

Oh man, I am feeling such an old feeling right now.

worst party ever!

Oh, hey, Internet.
Uh, about the other night, I was pretty drunk. I really wouldn't have been singing Mariah Carey if I wasn't, you know?
heh heh....
Anyways... I hope things are still cool and I can still post pictures on you and look at web comics and stuff.
So, uh... Oh, my phone... I have to go.
See you later, Internet.

jerk food (fritos and dr. pepper)

i meant to open my email, but i clicked the wrong thing so i'm rolling with it.
my sister and i drank a bunch of wine but i think she was bluffing and trying to get me drunk, because she took some pictures and laughed and then she left.
uh
oh, without most of the wine which i then proceeded to drink.
uh...
oh, mariah carey came out with a new song
god my fucking neighbor is singing it right now i think. i told you about him, didn't I?
if there's a camera up in here it's gonna leave when i do (i do)
and i better not see this shit on motherfucking youtube (you tube)
so far, i think that's how it goes.
ummm
oh, so i was looking at the moon, and it was a crescent moon, and the sunshine was all pouring in from the right hand side,and it was going past the earth and hitting the moon, you know?
and it was morning on the other side of the earth, which is the side I've been reading about.
dude i wish books and coffee was a person because then it wouldn't be weird for me to want to marry them.
and that boy who made my heart stop. like I'm some kind of "oh, he made my heart stop" kind of ridiculous person.
oh and then it slammed into overdrive at like 4000 beats per second to pump all the blood in my body straight to my face when i saw him again today,
but, whatever.

Unfriendly

Just now, on the bus, I sat next to this girl with a Little Prince bookbag.
If I had a Little Prince bookbag, I'm pretty sure I would be looking forward all the time for someone to comment on it, because it would totally be like meeting a kindred spirit.
So I pulled off my headphones and said, "Oh, I love your bag!"
She just looked at me somewhat blankly, so I said, "That's, like, my favorite book..."
To which she responded, and I quote,
"Oh."
And then, she turned to look out the window.

Nice job making me feel like a dumbass, Little Prince bookbag girl.

Roxanne Quotes

Me: wait... is the hobbit one of the lord of the rings?

(twenty minutes later...)
Me: ...Roxanne?
Roxanne: Oh, sorry. I was still laughing 'cause you said "hobbit" or something.

...

"I taped over the game. With the bear sex."

...

"Don't kiss her, kiss me!
...but when you're younger."


Today is kind of sucking. But I just joined swap-bot and I'm all excited, and I'm going to my mom's and gonna hang out with my brother and sister this weekend.
It's gonna be fun.

So, you know, it's not so bad. Plus, Roxanne is fucking hilarious.

Hannah Quotes

"I feel like that movie had drugs in it."
driving past the mall:
"Is this person seriously driving this slow?"
spotting the Ontario license plate:
"Yeah. They're like, 'Wow! America!'"

Today we took some puppies to the beachMine ran around like a kite. And then they fell asleep in my lap on the way home.


"I think today was a perfect day. Nothing wasn't perfect."


"...Oh, except for that part where you had to clean all the hair out of the shower drain."

Wednesday's Lesson: God Will Never Die

Alison had a dessert party on Friday and I made pineapple upside down cake. We talked about boys and embarrassing moments, then fell asleep.
Then we made breakfast and went to thrift stores with my sister. We ate chicken and jojos to the tune of "Golddigger" by Kanye West. I went to hang out with Roxanne and some really cool small children, then talked about boys and coincidences and fell asleep.
We woke up and ate soup and had a Superbad theme party and now I'm here. It was raining today and my toes are wet.
Stepping on a snail breaks my heart, so I almost sprained my ankle trying to avoid one on the way home. I picked him up and put him on the underside of a leaf, but I'm not really sure if that was the best place for him.

Oh, and Natasha, Clark is all over Superbad, and it's delightful.

busy weak

Last night I went to see the crazy alien band from space with my sister. It was really loud where we were standing and i fell in love with the guitar player and I can't hear anything today.
The singer reminded me of a mix between Selena and a toreador and a hyper chihuahua.
It was pretty good.

I need batteries for my camera and a fake ID and some boxes to mail things.

The morning after my last entry, when my sister came home, she said the front and back doors were wide open. So I'm thinking I'll need ghost insurance, too.

Sometimes I can hear a train going by even though the tracks are nowhere near my apartment. And sometimes a there's a knocking sound coming from behind the kitchen wall.
And I never even noticed that there was a light in the hallway until I woke up in the middle of the night and it was on.
Basically what I'm saying is I don't like being alone here at night.

Mrs. Thompson

I am at work right now, listening to Pinback.
I love my job, kind of. But really what I love is coffee.
And being paid to write about how much i love coffee and Pinback is pretty nice. I'm having a fabulous day so far.
Oh! I found some of the worst poetry ever in one of the copiers:

I'm fond of reading
Driving a motor-car isn't easy
He doesn't like walking so far
Travelling is my hobby
Teaching is hard work too
They went to bed wothout eating
smoking not allowed
he kept on working

"Bitte"
[No equivalent in English, just smile]
Tell me, please! Give me, please!
It doesn't matter at all (Bitte, bitte; es macht nichts)
it was a pleasure
I can hardly tell you how i felt
about.


... and then i realized that it was an English lesson from Germany.
Oh, my favorite old lady just came in.

biiiuuuuuuw!

I'm on vacation right now. My camera's dead and my brother's computer doesn't have a slot for my memory card.
Plus there's a terrible song on with these laser noises and shit, and one of the noises sounds like my phone vibrating and it's driving me nuts!!
Oh god now it just came in with the breathy female vocals.

I forgot how much I like San Luis. I'm thinking it's either here or Portland when my lease runs out.
What I'm saying is, I'm moving here in June. And then, later, to Portland.

P.S. I like beer now. like, right now.
P.P.S. I got the best book of all time. You gotta see it.

Today the bus passed by a car with a bumper sticker that said "Jiu Jitsu for Jesus"
I am completely serious. I took it as a sign that I have to get out of San Diego.
Alison took this photo of the internet looking like the street I walk to work on.I'm bored.

Oh man I like hummingbirds. They and otters are my favorites. Except otters don't hang out in my backyard. Today was another good rainy day. My sister and I ate lunch together and bought some crap. It was nice.She's pretty cool.
I have no idea why that's a link, or what it's a link to.